Thursday, April 17th, 2014

Chuck Norris, my hero

I saw in the news today that Texas Governor Rick Perry presented actor Chuck Norris with the designation of being an honorary member of the Texas Rangers law enforcement group.

That’s right, Walker, Texas Ranger is now actually a Texas Ranger.

I’m convinced everyone has a celebrity you love, but are ashamed to admit it. I’m not afraid to admit, I love Chuck Norris.

How can you not? He’s 70 and can still roundhouse kick anyone’s butt. And when Chuck Norris stares you down, you know you’re in trouble.

In honor of Chuck Norris becoming an official Texas Ranger, I’ve included below my top 10 favorite Chuck Norris jokes I’ve heard over the years and come across on the Internet.

Cheers to you, Chuck.

10. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

9. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

8. Chuck Norris doesn’t worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

7. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

6. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That’s why there are no signs of life there.

5. When Chuck Norris was born, he used his umbilical cord as a jump rope.

4. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because the only element he understands is the element of surprise.

3. Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. Death is still too afraid to tell him.

2. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

And my favorite …

1. If you go to google.com, type in “Find Chuck Norris” in the search field, and click the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button, you’ll get this.

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