I never dreamed I’d be a mommy of two under two.
But then again, life is full of surprises!
My husband, Jason, and I found out a couple of months ago that we are expecting another baby in early January.
We have always planned on adding to our family, although our original plans called for waiting another year or two before venturing down that road again.
You know what they say about the best laid plans, right?
I’ll never forget the day I found out. It was Sunday and my husband had spent the entire weekend slaving away outside, clearing away weeds and readying the yard for spring. I should have been helping, but instead, had spent the entire weekend laying around with Katie. I was tired and slightly nauseous. I hadn’t felt like that since…crap.
Realization hit, hard, and I made a beeline for the bathroom, searching under the counter for a leftover pregnancy test. I had bought about 400 of those tests during the nearly two years we had tried for Katie, so I knew there had to be one hiding in a cupboard somewhere.
I found one, slightly expired, and used it. The result, in the form of a practically flashing, bright pink line, was immediately revealed.
It’s funny how calm I was, almost giddy. I simply walked out back and handed the stick to Jason.
“Is that positive?” he asked.
“Yep,” I said, with a bit of a crazed smile on my face.
We just stood there and stared at each other for a minute or two. No one said anything.
Then Katie screamed from the back door and I went inside.
An hour later I went to the store and picked up two more boxes of tests, each revealing the same result as the first.
For the next two days, Jason stressed about how unprepared we were, while I happily repeated “We’ll be fine,” over and over again. It became my mantra.
And then we switched. By Tuesday morning, Jason was excited and enthusiastic, and I was a mess.
Eventually, we talked each other down, worked out how we think it will (hopefully) work out, and realized that this baby is a blessing, no matter how unexpected.
Now that we’ve gotten over the initial shock, my husband and I are both excited about the upcoming arrival.
We’re also still just a little bit terrified.
Katie will be 21 months old when the new baby gets here.
We’re going to have two in diapers and two in cribs. I’m going to have two complete sets of nursery furniture, and my slick little stroller will soon be traded in for a massive, heavy, stretched out double version.
Katie still doesn’t sleep through the night. Hopefully she will by the time her brother or sister arrives, but either way, I know it will be a long time before I ever sleep again.
I can’t help but wondering how we will handle it all. I know there are times when it seems like the two of us can barely keep up with the one we have now.
I also worry about Katie. Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating her out of her chance to be an only child for awhile, forcing her to share mommy and daddy’s attention before she’s ready.
My heart is so full of love right now for her, it’s hard to imagine there being room enough for another.
My mom put me at ease. She explained that I don’t divide the love inside my heart, my heart just grows until there is room enough for more.
I’m still worried about how crazy and hectic my life is about to become, but I’m also really excited about what lies ahead.
Katie has brought so much joy into my life, and all that joy is about to be doubled.